Some Thoughts on Teen-age Rebellion

by Jason Storms

Recently there has been an alarming phenomenon in American culture – teen-age rebellion. In Evangelical Christianity an estimated 85% of youth raised in Christian homes will depart from their parents faith within a year of leaving home. Sadly, this gives evidence that most were never genuinely converted nor rooted and grounded in the faith to begin with. Contrary to popular opinion teen-age rebellion is neither normal nor acceptable. If your teenager doesn't want to be around you, is lazy, unmotivated, uninterested, and ignorant of basic biblical truth -

THERE IS A PROBLEM!

Mom and Dad – you are doing something wrong! Things do not have to be this way. There was a time in America when young people were expected to respect and emulate their parents and in fact they did!

The purpose of this article is not to condemn and disparage parents and teens, but rather offer some helpful solutions to improve family relationships and enhance the spiritual life of your home. The reasons for "teen-age rebellion" are many. I want to list a few of the primary factors along with some corrective remedies:

• Teen years are a natural transition point in life
  
  With teens, parents are learning to allow more and more unprecedented freedom, slowly removing their control. Teens will naturally make mistakes and go through trial and error as they learn. Parents can give too much freedom where it has not been earned or is not being properly overseen. On the other extreme many suffocate their teenager, not allowing them to grow and become responsible adults. Be reasonable and balanced – understand your child, communicate often – give and take for a smooth transition.


• The Myth of "Adolescence" – are they adults or children?
  
  In Jewish culture at age 13 you were an adult – you associated with, acted like and took on the responsibilities of an adult. At 12, 13, and 14 your children should be mature enough to converse, work with and behave like adults! Constant "hanging out" with "kids" their own age will restrict their growth. If they want to learn how to be good fathers, good husbands, good businessmen – will they learn more from their 14 year old buddy, or from being around an older man who is living out an example for them. "Let the older teach the younger"(Tit.2)- they cannot do this if they are not around each other! DO NOT AGE SEGREGATE YOUR CHILDREN!


• Cultural depravity targeting youth
  
  The desire for autonomy and the pursuit of selfish pleasures is natural to man, teens are no exception. They need the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit – as do we all! Nonetheless we live in an increasingly corrupt society with much of the seduction directed towards impressionable young minds and hearts. - 1) Shield your children from alluring defilements, especially music and over saturation from media. Remember they will consume no less flesh feeding "entertainment" than you. 2) Equip them with the necessary character and integrity to resist such. This requires cultivating a serious relationship with your child - leading me to my final and most important point....


• Hypocrisy and failure to disciple by parents
  
  Your children will follow your example. Your neglect to pray and read the Bible teaches your child that such is unimportant. You must disciple your children in the faith! Teach them theology, discuss the rational foundations of your faith as a family – Create an environment where they can ask honest questions and learn how to find honest answers. You will all grow together as a family, and their respect for you will grow as well.

Losing your temper or talking rudely and demeaning will confuse and embitter your children. Fathers who act one way around "church folk" and act different when it's just family, teach that dad is a phony and should not be respected or followed. You must maintain a genuine walk with Christ and then work to share that with your children in the context of a deep, intimate relationship. You must spend LOTS of time with your child!!!

Win their hearts, learn their interests and they will follow you! Dad - your role in teaching and instructing your family is HUGE! Its not the pastor or the youth pastor or the school teacher's job! It is your job. "Fathers...train your children in the nurture and instruction of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4)